Off to a Rocky Start

Happy New Year to all of you! I hope the first few days of 2017 have been good to you!

I am back home and back at that 8-5 work grind. Let me tell you… after a 10-day break (the perks of working in the private sector!) I am struggling to get back into the swing of things. My sleeping is all over the place, I feel incredibly lazy and lethargic, and my eating schedule is totally out of whack. It’s crazy how our normal daily routines can become so befuddled after change. All this madness is worth it, though, as I got to spend 10 relaxing days with my family and friends. I’d say I left 2016 in a pretty good place; unfortunately, 2017 opened with a rocky start, which makes me skeptical about the rest of the year.

My mother and her fiancé decided to have their wedding on NYE. They have been dating since my parents divorced 7 years ago, so this wedding was not a complete surprise. They booked a small room in a restaurant, very informal, and invited only a handful of close friends and family. Great, right? Not so much. My brother, fiancé and I walked into the room and knew only a couple of people; the rest of the guests just stared at us like we were aliens. Talk about awkward (and rude)!

You see, my mom has had some disagreements with her family– she no longer talks to her sisters or her parents and they were not invited to the wedding. In fact, none of them even knew she was getting remarried. Imagine walking into your mother’s wedding, happy she’s found love, only to be shunned by the strangers there. A wedding is supposed to be a family affair, yet none of my loved ones were there. All I could think about was my poor grandparents. My grandfather, who is in his late 80’s, is quickly deteriorating from dementia. He barely remembers me, his own granddaughter, and it kills me to think that he probably won’t be here next year for my wedding. I am sure he would have been honored to walk my mom, his daughter, down the aisle one last time. But, that opportunity has passed and there isn’t anything I can do about it.

I try not to stick my nose in my mom’s business because, well, it’s her business (and I am passive). However, I am very concerned about the nature of her behavior. The thought of excluding my parents from my wedding makes my heart so incredibly sad; I wonder if hers is hurting too?

I wanted to start the New Year with a positive attitude, but to be honest, I am very depressed. I just cannot shake the events that took place on NYE. I feel like the wedding has altered my opinion about my mom and that’s very unsettling to me. Nonetheless, I will try to look at the positives in my life right now—life’s too short to have “bad” years! So, keep those positive posts coming!

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